Should you Love yourself in a marriage or just love Him

The verse I referred to in my quote is Matthew 22:39. It's a simple verse but the loving yourself part is often left off. It is left off especially when people want to use the bible as a reason for women to stay in abusive marriages. God values His daughters and does not call anyone to live in an abusive marriage. An abuser is emotionally broken. I understand that, but he or she has the ability to make the decision to heal, grow and change and often they do not make that decision. The strange, often confusing occurrence is when the woman in an abusive relationship is made the villain. She becomes the one who is not submitting when she stands up to his abuse and says. "This is wrong" and "this is unjust."  If she is part of a toxic church culture, it tells her that his leadership position in the home means he can do absolutely anything to her and her role is to submit. The God who created and loves His daughters did not create them for abuse. Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37‭, ‬39 NLT